Mediocre Man stands at center stage in a yellowish-brown suit. Frantic Boy bounds onstage and looks at the audience with his hands on his hips.

Frantic Boy - Why the brown suit, Mediocre Man?
Mediocre Man - Because today (raises an index finger skyward) I am Medium-Ochre Man!

Audience Groans.
Lights fade to black.

I misstepped. My thesis work is still ongoing.

6 Weird Things About Me

1. I sometimes imagine lines extending off the edges of walls, desks, and pointy things, and I make sure that I step over them.

2. I am a compulsive doer. I get agitated when there's anything I need to accomplish, but once I get it done I get a surge of relief.

3. I am completing my master's in aerospace engineering, but I hate school and always have.

4. I have learned how to break in to every house and apartment I have lived in, because I chronically lock my keys in my room.

5. It is my personal ambition to build my own spaceship.

6. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Stress

I am one with the stress. I take in the stress and use it to create something more powerful, more complex, something resembling a thesis. The stress and I dance in harmonious unison. One misstep in the chaotic swirling and I will be swept away. So I will not misstep and I will hand in that fucking thesis in a week and a half.