This is Jay again.

My dad and Carmen moved recently, that's something. Michelle (my gf) is away with her parents and sister on vacation. I hope she's having a good time. Nothing much is up with me.

I'll tell you a story:

Once upon a time there was a cricket of doom with fiery red eyes and a countenance to match. One day he came upon a family having a picnic. They looked picturesque with their wicker basket, fine white clothes and fancy blanket, completely unaware of the hellish mayham the cricket of doom was about to unleash. But then a robin ate the cricket.
ThE eNd